A huge thank you + 7 things I learned from resetting my career

One year into DanHarris.com — practical takeaways, exciting new plans, and massive gratitude

As far as I know, the Buddha wasn’t big on birthdays. Celebrations like that tend to reinforce the notion of a self—some isolated blob of specialness, floating apart from the rest of the living universe. In other words, making a big deal of your birthday could be counterproductive in a tradition whose central aim is, arguably, to get your head out of your ass.

So this email might be a little un-Buddhist, because I’m going to celebrate the one-year anniversary of this subscription service.

My team made a customized cake. I like cake.

Really, though, this is less about me and more about you—in two ways:

First, I want to say a sincere thank you.

Second, I’ve learned a few things this past year that might actually be useful to you.

But before we get to that, a tiny, tiny little bit about… me!

In early September of 2024, as my team and I prepared to launch this thing, I was emerging from a true career earthquake. Over the previous three years, I had gone through a wrenching separation from the meditation app I co-founded. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life. (And yes, I realize that sentence is proof, as if any more were needed, that I’ve had a privileged existence.)

Anyway, on that sunny September morning, gathered with my team at my house in northern Westchester, I was feeling strangely calm. I officially launched DanHarris.com and then spent several hours smashing refresh as more and more of you subscribed, chimed in on the live chat, and generally cheered me/us on.

In that moment, I felt an upwelling of relief and gratitude that has yet to fade.

The fact that you showed up during one of my darkest hours is incredibly meaningful to me. I will never forget it.

Seen here on launch day with team member Caroline Keenan and my XXL feline security blanket, Toby.

And it wasn’t just what happened that morning. It’s what’s happened since: the number of you who read my thrice-weekly missives, join the chat, turn out for the live meditation + Q&A sessions (a particular favorite of mine), and take part in our special meditation challenges and events. It’s all meant more than I can say.

One year in, we have more than 200,000 total subscribers—including thousands of paid subscribers—whose support sustains our team and allows us to pay the meditation teachers fairly, run experiments, and gradually expand our offering.

I’m blown away by how many of you have written to say that this work has made a difference in your life. It’s massively motivating.

Okay, so that was a borderline embarrassing amount of biographical detail and gratitude-bombing. Let’s pivot to some actionable advice.

Here are seven things I’ve learned since I restarted my career:

1. Expect adversity.

A lot of us walk around with the delusion that life is like an escalator—a smooth upward trajectory. But that’s not how shit actually works. Whether you’re running a business, raising a child, or participating in a romantic relationship, you’re going to hit nasty surprises.

My CEO, Toni Magyar, and I often talk about how things will be going along smoothly in the business for a few weeks… and then, out of nowhere, bam: we get that email that seemingly derails everything.

How to handle this uncertainty?

You don’t need to become paranoid or hypervigilant. Just adopt a posture of expecting adversity so that you’re not shocked when it arrives. I recently heard a phrase I love:

“Expect nothing. Prepare for anything.”

2. Remember: You’ve done hard shit before.

When you’re in the thick of adversity, it’s easy to want to quit. To be clear, sometimes quitting is the right move. But often it’s not.

What helps me is remembering that this isn’t my first rodeo. I have handled setbacks before. A coke-fueled panic attack on national television, the declining health of my parents, and a resurgence of my own sometimes-debilitating claustrophobia. All of those challenges were way harder than any of the regular business hiccups my company experiences.

This recollection can both fortify me and get me back in the game.

3. Self-laceration doesn’t help.

You’re going to screw up. I’ve made plenty of mistakes over the past year—and even more during the years before that, while I was in the midst of the long, messy divorce from my first company.

Here’s what I’ve learned: shame doesn’t help.

In Buddhist psychology, there’s a distinction between shame and “wise remorse.” Wise remorse is useful; it helps you learn from your mistakes. On the other hand, shame—where you spiral into a story about how fundamentally broken or irredeemable you are—is paralytic.

4. Never worry alone.

You’ve probably heard me say this before; it’s one of my all-time favorite expressions.

Everything is harder when you try to tackle it solo. Instead, get yourself into the metaphorical carpool lane—with people you trust. Let them help you think things through.

Don’t be seduced by the American myth of the rugged individual. It’s bullshit. We’re a social species. We’ve always survived by locking arms.

It took a two hundred-person crew to get this shot.

5. Clear is kind.

This one comes from the great researcher and writer Brené Brown.

It can be hard to give people feedback. It’s tempting to avoid conflict and let the other person flail. But that’s not actually kind, it’s avoidant. Sometimes, you have to suck it up and be direct. You don’t have to be a jerk about it, though. You can preface it with warmth:

“Hey, I want to give you some feedback, precisely because I think you’re amazing and I value your role here and our relationship. Are you open to hearing it?”

6. Limit the squirrels.

This is a bit of internal lingo we’ve developed inside the 10% Happier cinematic universe.

Have you seen the Pixar movie, Up? There’s a pack of dogs chasing the good guys. Every now and then, mid-pursuit, one of the dogs sees a squirrel and veers off in a totally different direction.

That’s me.

My team and I will agree to focus on one big project, and then I’ll come bounding in, distracted by some shiny new object. Toni is especially good at helping me keep the squirrel quotient low. It’s a constant struggle, though.

7. Have fun.

This is something I’ve had to learn (and re-learn) from my friend Liz, who’s the managing editor here at DanHarris.com, and also an old friend and colleague. I have a tendency to approach professional pursuits as a kind of death march, forgetting that work is a huge part of life. And life is finite. So I might as well enjoy it.

Some of the things that help me enjoy the ride:

• Cultivating positive relationships with my team (not something I was always great at);

• Focusing on making baller content;

• Interacting with all of you.

So, those are the big lessons from Year One.

We’ve accomplished so much this past year—far more than I expected when we hit 'launch'—and I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve built together.

And we have a ton of cool stuff coming in Year Two.

Starting in September, we will go live every week. Up until now, it’s been once or twice a month. But now, every Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. ET, we’ll host a live meditation and Q&A session featuring a meditation teacher and/or me—open to all paid subscribers. You can join live, get your questions answered, and practice together in real time. (You can also watch it on your own time later.)

My goal is to rally the incredible group of Dharma teachers I’ve been so fortunate to learn from and befriend in the years since I had that panic attack on live TV—and bring them directly to you.

Our September Teacher of the Month is Vinny Ferraro, with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren coming up this fall. These are some of the most skilled meditation teachers I know—and judging by the feedback I’ve seen, Vinny, Seb, and Jeff have lots of fans in this community.

We’re expanding what we offer here without raising the price. If you’re already a paid subscriber, thank you. If you’re not yet, this is a great time to come aboard.

If you’re a subscriber and in a position to give more, upgrading to a Founding Membership is another great way to show your support. Founders play a key role in helping to defray costs so we can continue offering subscriptions free to anyone who needs them. Founders’ support also allows us to experiment with new ways to bring these teachings to life and helps ensure we can always pay our teachers fairly.

As a thank you, I’ll be hosting an intimate live Zoom meeting for Founders on Thursday, Sept. 11 at 4:00 p.m. ET. Upgrade today to receive your invitation.

I just want to close with this:

Thank you. Really. For coming along on this ride with me and my team. We could not—and would not—do this without you.

Toby thanks you, too.

Please stick around. Join in however it fits your schedule. And let us know in the comments how all this is landing for you. We take your feedback seriously. It’s how we figure out what’s working, what’s not, and how we can better serve you.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite lines from the comedian Tracy Morgan:

“I love you. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

xx,
Dan