Afraid of saying the wrong thing?

One journalist’s advice for trusting your mind and challenging your tribe

Do you ever feel like the members of your political tribe—or even just your friends, family, and colleagues—might be wrong or misguided on certain issues, but that it wouldn’t be safe to speak out? To question the dogma?

If so, you’re not alone. Research suggests there’s growing fear of saying the wrong thing and, further, that self-silencing is on the rise.

The writer Jenara Nerenberg says the fear is not irrational. She argues that in an era of increased polarization, where algorithms reward outrage, groupthink abounds and nuance is under attack.

The resulting self-censoring is correlated with depression, lower self-esteem, and lower self-confidence. Nerenberg believes it’s also contributing to the loneliness crisis because it blocks authentic relationships—as they require a certain amount of healthy conflict.

Nerenberg, who has a new book called Trust Your Mind, says there are several ways to address this problem:

• Notice it. The mere fact of acknowledging your misgivings is key. The first step is admitting it.

• Diversify your media diet. Get curious about other points of view.

• Get comfortable with uncertainty. As you start to venture beyond your group’s talking points, practice being ok with not knowing.

• Embrace the upside of the internet. There are many deleterious effects of online life, but one healthy aspect, she says, is that it’s possible to find communities committed to maintaining an open mind.

• Take a risk. Gingerly broach the difficult topic with someone in your life and see what happens.

• Make new friends. Research shows that making friends across racial, gender, and ideological lines can reduce bias.

I would add one last thing: remember that there’s a difference between challenging your opinions and abandoning your values. You can do one without the other.

Check out Jenara Nerenberg on the pod today. Paid subscribers can access the interview ad-free here. It’s also available wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.

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The big takeaway

Journalist and author Jenara Nerenberg takes on one of today’s thorniest problems: why honest, nuanced conversation feels nearly impossible in our polarized, groupthink-driven world. In this episode, she explores how group dynamics, fear of self-silencing, and social media have stifled our capacity for real connection—and offers hope that curiosity, dissent, and a return to individuality can revive true dialogue.

Trust Your Mind: How to think critically & speak up in an age of groupthink: