How to go beyond the cliché and actually trust your intuition

Five tips from a Buddhist maestro

How many times have you been told to trust your gut or listen to your intuition? It can come off as a hopeless, unactionable cliché.

But trusting your gut generally keeps you aligned with reality; ignoring it often knocks you off course. And research backs this up: a recent study found that gut instinct isn’t woo—it can actually improve decision-making in ways analysis alone can miss.

So why is it so tough to trust your gut? For one, fear often dresses up as intuition, making it hard to tell whether we’re hearing a clear inner signal or just anxious noise. On top of that, bias and conditioning sneak in, warping what feels like good instinct into something less reliable. Then come the quieter saboteurs: self-doubt, low self-esteem, and all the cultural messages whispering that we’re wrong, hysterical, or not enough. Add the daily haze of comparison culture, which trains us to distrust our own perceptions, and screen addiction, which keeps us disconnected from the body—and it’s no wonder so many of us lose touch with our gut instincts.

The good news: the eminent Buddhist teacher Trudy Goodman says self-trust is actually a skill, one you can develop.

Here are five tips from Trudy to help you develop trust in yourself:

1. Start with your senses. The most reliable data you have is what you can see, hear, and feel right now. Noticing raw sensations interrupts anxious story-spinning and grounds you in reality. But, but… so much of modern life militates against tuning into your body. Which is why you need…

2. Try the three-breath reset. Anywhere, anytime: (1) Relax your body. (2) Name what’s here—“tension,” “sadness,” “buzzing mind.” (3) Inhale kindness, exhale a widening out to others. Three breaths, and you’ve reminded yourself: you can handle this moment.

3. Distinguish intuition from fear. A trustworthy inner “no” or “yes” tends to be clear, specific, and proportionate. Fear is usually vague, urgent, and tight. Practice checking your impulses against these filters—and when in doubt, reality-check with a friend.

4. Respect your own boundaries. Over-giving and people-pleasing corrode self-trust. Resentment is your body’s early-warning system that you’ve gone too far. Start practicing small, polite nos, and remember that self-respect isn’t selfish—it’s the bedrock of self-trust.

5. Get in your joy reps. Self-doubt thrives when your system is flooded with stress. Trudy says deliberately noticing micro-moments of joy—a kind smile, birdsong, even the absence of a toothache—steadies you. Think of it as an IV drip that makes you less distractible and more able to trust what’s actually happening.

For more on how to learn to trust yourself, listen to today’s episode of 10% Happier with Trudy Goodman.

I’m also excited to introduce you to our October Teacher of the Month, the dharma teacher and my good friend Sebene Selassie. As part of our paid subscriber offering, you’ll get a companion meditation from Sebene with every Monday and Wednesday episode this month. In today’s meditation—called “How to Listen to Yourself”—she teaches you how to ask yourself what you need right now, and how to trust the answer.

Sebene is also going live with our executive producer DJ Cashmere on Tuesday, Oct. 7, at 4:00 p.m. ET for a guided meditation and Q&A exclusively for paid subscribers. Don’t miss it.

As a reminder, Sebene, Jeff Warren, Ofosu Jones-Quartey, and I are doing another version of our annual Meditation Party retreat this Oct. 24-26. It’s at the Omega Institute in upstate NY. Think four big sessions of meditation, conversation, and Q&A—with plenty of free time to hike the 240-acre campus, play some pickleball, shoot hoops, or just relax by the lake (yes, they’ve got kayaks). You can also drop into yoga or tai chi classes, and on Saturday night there’s even a dance party (totally optional, I promise). I hope you’ll join us. More info here.

Paid subscribers get the 10% Happier podcast ad-free, as well as:

• A cheatsheet for each episode — with key takeaways, time-coded highlights, and a transcript

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Join the party.

Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Trudy Goodman, PhD, a renowned Buddhist teacher, highlights the subtle yet transformative art of learning to trust yourself. She argues that self-trust, far from being at odds with Buddhist teachings on “no-self,” is an essential, trainable foundation for greater calm, equanimity, energy, and an ability to care for yourself—particularly when facing uncertainty or difficult people. Grounding yourself in awareness and authentic self-love, Trudy makes a case for trusting both our perceptions and our innate capacity for awakening.

Trusting yourself: The Buddhist secret to calm, confidence, and handling obnoxious people

Key takeaways

• Trust is a skill: Building self-trust is not an indulgence—it’s a vital, trainable capacity that helps you navigate life’s uncertainty and challenges.

• Intuition matters: Honing awareness and listening to your inner voice (instead of always falling victim to doubt or outside opinions) can be lifesaving and deeply liberating.

• Self-love ≠ selfishness: Real self-love, in a Buddhist context, looks like self-respect and clear boundaries—not narcissism or toxic self-sacrifice.

• Connection as remedy: Trusting yourself and forming healthy communities reinforces your ability to stay grounded, especially when facing bias, societal pressure, or division.

6 practical tips for developing trust in yourself