How to meditate without kicking your own ass

3 hacks for people who think they suck at meditation

One of the most common refrains I hear from people who approach me on the street or at the airport is: I suck at meditation.

Often my response is that it’s the people who think they suck at meditation that are probably doing it correctly. Because the practice involves trying to focus the mind for a few seconds at a time, and then every time you get distracted, you just start again. And again. And again.

Basically, it’s become my job on the planet to repeat this message over and over.

But today I’ve got three additional hacks for you, from my friend Ofosu Jones-Quartey, a highly skilled meditation teacher who also suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. In other words, his brain is not necessarily the most hospitable place for meditation.

After many years of white knuckling it through meditation sessions, he’s come up with some practical techniques that I suspect you’ll find helpful:

• Feel like you’re failing? That’s still the practice. Ofosu says he used to treat meditation like a performance. If things got messy, he felt like the whole session was a failure. What changed everything was realizing: the moment is complete. As he puts it: “Whether it was great or sucked, it came and went. That’s enough.”

• When things get tough, remember: this is nature. Ofosu shares a simple phrase that helps him stay grounded when his mind gets messy: This is nature. In other words, whatever you're experiencing—stress, distraction, self-judgment—isn’t personal. It’s just the mind doing what minds do.

• Try “open awareness” instead of chasing a goal. In this style of meditation, you forgo the usual “anchor” (like the breath) and instead just let whatever’s happening—sounds, sensations, thoughts, feelings—move through your attention. You might label what you notice with a quiet mental note (“hearing,” “thinking,” “warmth”), but without trying to hold onto or push anything away. As Ofosu notes: “There actually isn’t that much to do.” It’s a gentle, no-pressure way to be with your mind.

For more on turning down the self-laceration in meditation, check out today’s episode of 10% Happier with Ofosu, where we unpack his favorite hacks for working with a restless mind and lowering the bar without giving up.

Paid subscribers also get this companion meditation from our August Teacher of the Month, Kaira Jewel Lingo. It’s a guided dive into the type of open awareness practice Ofosu uses to meet each moment with curiosity instead of self-criticism.

Also, I’ll be going live tomorrow, August 14 at 4:00 PM ET for a short guided meditation followed by Q&A, just for paid subscribers. Hope you can make it.

Paid subscribers get the 10% Happier podcast ad-free, as well as:

• A cheatsheet for each episode — with key takeaways, time-coded highlights, and a transcript

• The ability to comment on posts and participate in subscriber chats

• Access to our twice-monthly live video sessions, in which I guide a meditation and take questions

• Tailor-made meditations every Monday and Wednesday, led by our meditation teacher of the month and designed to pair with the podcast episodes

Join the party.

Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Ofosu Jones-Quartey, a meditation teacher and hip-hop artist, opens up about how open awareness meditation transformed his relationship with both his mind and his struggles with OCD. He unpacks why feeling like you "suck at meditation" is actually a common—and surmountable—misconception, and how a more relaxed, self-compassionate approach can make practice sustainable and rewarding.

Learning to chill out: open awareness meditation for real life

Key takeaways:

• Open awareness (a.k.a. choiceless awareness) meditation teaches you to be with everything arising in your experience, instead of clinging to one meditation anchor (like the breath).

• It’s a radical drop in the pressure to “do meditation right”—no need to force focus or achieve perfection.

• This approach is especially helpful for folks with busy or neurodiverse minds. You don’t need a super-calm brain to benefit from meditation.

• There’s deep freedom and peace in seeing that thoughts, sensations, and even suffering just come and go—they’re not as personal as they feel.

How to practice open awareness meditation: