How to network without being gross

Simple tips from a master

The concept of networking has a real stink on it. Deservedly so. Because often it’s done in a disingenuous and transactional way.

But networking in the right way can be deeply rewarding—and yes, even remunerative.

Here are two networking games/tricks from my friend Jordan Harbinger, a lawyer turned podcaster who has transformed networking into something truly non-icky. Jordan does these on a daily basis, but you can do them whenever suits you:

1. Connect 4 (AKA Text Exchange): Jordan scrolls all the way down to the bottom of his thousands of text chains. There, he finds pleasant interactions with folks he hasn’t talked to in years. (He avoids ex-girlfriends and bad bosses, of course.) He identifies four dormant connections and sends each of these people a quick note that includes an update on his life and an inquiry into theirs. Sometimes all that happens is an innocuous back-and-forth that produces a mild dopamine hit. Other times, it leads to business opportunities, either for Jordan or for the other person.

2. Gmail Roulette: This is very similar. Jordan will go into his Gmail and type in a few random letters, such as A and D. One time, he typed in those letters and it brought him to an old exchange with the writer and podcaster, Adam Grant. Jordan sent a gentle ping of reconnection and Adam responded right away with an idea for a guest for Jordan’s podcast.

But the most important thing to remember is Jordan’s cardinal rule: If you’re going to get into the game of resuscitating old connections, you can’t be transactional about it. Don’t keep score. If somebody needs something, do it for them without any expectation of reciprocation. Of course, if you think somebody’s taking advantage of you, then you can draw a boundary. But the overall goal here is creating and maintaining relationships.

I can say from personal experience that Jordan walks the walk here. As I’ve undergone transformation in my career over the past couple of years, Jordan has consistently made himself available to me when I needed advice.

If you want to hear more from Jordan, check out my interview with him on the podcast today. We talk about networking, the shitty aspects of hustle culture, and much more.

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Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Jordan Harbinger shares insights on building a career through relationship-building, strategic networking, and bringing passion to your work - while maintaining a healthy work-life balance and avoiding the pitfalls of toxic hustle culture.

Networking your way to success (without being gross about it)