Kryptonite for your inner critic

Two strategies for when you’re kicking your own ass

We’ve officially moved into our new home: the 10% with Dan Harris app. Paid subscribers can find step-by-step instructions here to get set up. If you’re not a paid subscriber, now is the time to sign up to get a 14-day free trial. Today is the last day you’ll be able to access our library of paid content on Substack. After today, all meditations, live replays, and the ad-free podcast will live exclusively in the new 10% with Dan Harris app.

Many of us think we need ruthless self-criticism in order to get off the couch and get anything done. But scientific research strongly suggests this is a losing strategy—that kicking your own ass activates the fight-or-flight wiring and reduces your effectiveness.

So what’s the move when you catch yourself criticizing how you look in the mirror or replaying some dumb thing you said in a meeting?

I recently learned two great strategies from Amita Schmidt, a psychotherapist and dharma teacher.

1. Ask your inner critic “What are you afraid of?” Your inner critic isn’t actually trying to be a jerk. It’s trying, unskillfully, to protect you. Next time the voice starts berating you, trying asking, “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t criticize me?” When you address the underlying fear, the critical part often begins to calm down.

• “Labeling” is a cheat code. Labeling a difficult emotion or critical voice is a simple mindfulness tool that actually shifts your brain activity. Amita cites research from UCLA showing that labeling quiets the amygdala (the brain’s fight-or-flight center) and engages the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s reasoning center), giving you space to respond instead of react.

Listen to the full episode with Amita Schmidt to hear about her 20-year struggle with chronic depression, the specific moment it finally “unhooked” like a caboose from a train, and how her blend of psychology and dharma can help loosen the grip of the inner critic.

Also out today is my episode with Katy Bowman on why you don’t exercise even though you know you should, and strategies to get over the hump. The episode comes with a custom guided meditation called “Rewire Your Relationship With Your Body” from January Teacher of the Month Bart van Melik.

As a reminder, episode cheatsheets and transcripts can be found in the episode posts in the new app.

I’m going live tomorrow, Jan. 13 at 4:00 p.m. ET, for a guided meditation and Q&A, exclusively for paid subscribers on Zoom. You can find details in the Upcoming Events section of the app. Don’t miss it.

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