The kickass power of spiritual friendships

This is real strength

I think a lot about the way strength has been sold to us. The American culture-making machine has long portrayed strength as rugged individualism. I’m thinking of the Marlboro Man, wandering alone through the prairie… right up until he dies from lung cancer.

This, of course, is total bullshit. It runs against everything we know about the evolution of the species. We got to the top of the food chain not because of our individual attributes, but because we are capable of cooperation and communication.

Ideally, when you have a problem, there is someone to call. Your friends. Your siblings. Your mom.

The hard reality is that too many of us don’t have anyone to talk to. But the good news is, there are ways to change this.

One great way to make allies is through volunteering. Being of service brings you into contact with like-minded people and it also reminds you of your innate nobility.

Another strategy is to get involved with a spiritual group. I’ve never loved that term, spiritual. Always struck me as gauzy and annoying. But I’m not sure I can find a better alternative.

There’s research to show that spiritual friends, made in a church, synagogue, mosque, a Buddhist sangha, etc., are the most powerful kinds of friends you can have. And in these chaotic times, that can be a massive asset. It’s real strength.

Today on the podcast, I am in conversation with two of my closest spiritual friends, the meditation teachers and authors, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren.

We talk about: why spiritual friendship is so powerful; how to make spiritual friends; why meditation isn’t just about how you relate to yourself, but how you relate to the world. There is also a particularly compelling exchange on people-pleasing. Hope you check it out.

Paid subscribers get the podcast ad-free here, plus a cheatsheet below, with a summary of key takeaways and a full transcript. It’s also available wherever you get your podcasts, and on YouTube.

Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren dive into the power of “spiritual friendship”—the idea that meaningful connections are not only central to meditation, but possibly the key ingredient in living a rich, authentic life. In chaotic times, nurturing true friendships that are grounded in self-awareness, vulnerability, and shared intention can transform both your practice and your sense of belonging.