The only way out is through

Supremely counterintuitive, supremely helpful

Today’s post is about something so useful and yet so counterintuitive that I need to be reminded of it all the time.

The human animal (like all animals) is deeply wired to avoid anything unpleasant. Physical pain, emotional pain—get out of here with that shit.

And yet, the resistance only makes what you’re trying to avoid stronger. As the Buddhist monk in The White Lotus said, “You cannot outrun pain.”

I know this to be true. In fact, it’s my job to tell people about this. And yet, I forget all the time.

Recently, I’ve been making a big investment in getting over my claustrophobia, which has made elevators, trains, and airplanes a complete nightmare. I’ve spent so much energy trying to avoid the terror—by getting off planes before takeoff (to the annoyance of my family), or self-medicating (which makes me goofy and, subsequently, hungover—also to the annoyance of my family).

But ultimately, as my therapist keeps reminding me, the move is to stop avoiding and just let in the feelings of terror. To see that the storm eventually passes.

There’s a real art to this. You don’t want to overwhelm or re-traumatize yourself. You need to go slowly and carefully. But it is truly the only path. To paraphrase Robert Frost: “The only way out is through.”

Today, paid subscribers get a guided meditation from the great Cara Lai, walking you through the art of facing what you don’t want to face. The meditation is designed to accompany today’s podcast, which features my friend and fellow podcaster, Rich Roll, an endurance athlete who talks about pain tolerance as a key part of physical fitness.

In addition to getting the 10% Happier podcast ad-free, paid subs get a cheatsheet for each episode (below, with key takeaways, time-coded highlights, and a transcript), can comment on posts, access subscriber chats, and join our twice-monthly live video sessions, in which I guide a meditation and take questions. Join the party.

Episode Cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Rich Roll discusses authenticity, harnessing the power of momentum, and discovering one’s potential at any age.

Getting Fit Without Losing Your Mind: Lessons from Rich Roll

• Experiment with momentum: Small, consistent wins build into big changes, and protecting your streak is key to turning a new habit from a chore into something self-sustaining.