Why you should ask for advice instead of feedback

A subtle, evidence-based hack for career advancement

Asking for feedback on your performance at work can be a smart way to advance your career and show initiative. However, the way you ask for feedback plays a crucial role in whether you get useful information from the conversation.

The reality is that most people are pretty uncomfortable giving feedback. One study found that participants who were told they had to give feedback were as anxious as those who were told they were about to receive it. As a consequence, feedback is not always delivered well, which can render it somewhat useless.

However, a study published in Harvard Business Review found that people tend to offer more useful insights when asked for advice. When you ask for “feedback,” people often default to vague or overly critical responses. Asking for advice frames the conversation in a forward-looking way, making it more constructive and actionable.

Further, people generally enjoy giving advice because it positions them as experts. It makes them more invested in your success, leading to more thoughtful and helpful input.

I talk about this issue on my pod today with Professor Sue Ashford from the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. We also talk about how to have a growth mindset at work and how to get over perfectionism in order to take risks.

This episode is part of our “Sanely Ambitious” week on the podcast, where we focus on how to succeed without driving yourself (and everybody else) crazy. On Wednesday, it’s the Wall Street lawyer turned popular podcaster, Jordan Harbinger, who talks about how to network without being gross. On Friday, it’s Jonathan Fields, who talks about how to find work that you actually like.

Also, a few weeks ago, I put out a short episode about how we’re trying to be sanely ambitious within my own little startup. You can hear it here.

Paid subscribers can listen to today's episode with Sue Ashford ad-free here. If you upgrade to paid, you also get lots of other stuff, including: access to the episode cheatsheet at the bottom of this email (which includes key takeaways, time-coded highlights and a transcript); the ability to comment on my posts; access to my subscriber chats; and access to my twice-monthly live sessions, in which I guide a meditation then take your questions. Join the party.

Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Professor Sue Ashford says that by adopting a learning mindset, seeking feedback, managing emotions, and reflecting on experiences, you can achieve real personal growth and become more interpersonally effective at work.

Flex your way to growth: small experiments, big results