Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist and EFT-certified couples therapist (Emotionally Focused Therapy). She is a contributing author to Psychology Today, and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Business Insider, Vox, and Very Well Mind, among others. Her latest book is They’re Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship.
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Episode cheatsheet
The big takeaway
Dr. Isabelle Morley dives deep into the pitfalls of “therapy speak” and how its misuse—especially in relationships and social media—can cause confusion, miscommunication, and even harm. Morley unpacks how clinical terms like gaslighting, narcissist, and boundaries are often weaponized or misused, and offers a refreshingly grounded approach for navigating tricky relationship dynamics with more nuance, less jargon, and greater self-awareness.
Stop weaponizing therapy speak: How to talk—and think—about relationships without diagnosing everyone
Key takeaways:
Therapy terms are everywhere, but misusing them can escalate conflict, foster misunderstanding, and even damage relationships.
There’s a crucial difference between genuine abuse and typical bad behavior—don’t rush to label every fight or unpleasant interaction as “toxic.”
Setting boundaries is about keeping yourself safe and autonomous, not about controlling others.
Diagnosing someone with a personality disorder should be left to clinicians; focus on actual behaviors and patterns instead.
6 practical tips for handling therapy speak and relationships:
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