How to regulate your nervous system when you’re freaking out

Three tactics for stopping the spiral

My friend Evelyn has a great expression. When we’re freaking out, we enter what Evelyn calls “the toilet vortex.” We kick our own ass, then we take that out on the people around us, which makes us feel like shit, and down we go.

Next time you’re spiraling down the toilet, here are three moves you can make from Nidhi Pandya, an Ayurveda expert I interviewed on my podcast. Part of why I like her is that she is refreshingly allergic to wellness-mania, which she refers to as “the human tragedy of over-optimization.” Bars.

Per Nidhi:

• Get out of your head by grounding in sensation. Bring your attention to contact points: the fabric of the clothes on your skin, your feet on the floor, the way your hands feel. When you’re activated, you tend to leave the body. This is a quick way back in.

• Lengthen the exhale (even subtly). If you’re freaking out in the middle of a conversation and can’t step away, you can still do this. Make the out-breath a little longer than the in-breath. Often that’s enough to down-regulate your nervous system, making it easier to skillfully respond.

• If you can step away, use temperature or movement. This one can sound a little impractical when you’re in the middle of real life. But even a small physical reset can interrupt the stress loop. Splash cool water on your face. Take a quick shower. Or do a short burst of movement. This isn’t about fitness; it’s about changing your state so that you’re better resourced and able to handle whatever comes next.

Nidhi defines Ayurveda as the “science of life”—a framework for returning to our own intuitive wisdom. Before meeting her, I knew basically nothing about it. But she gave me an education and opened my mind to its possibilities. For more, listen to the full episode.

Nidhi’s episode comes with a guided meditation for paid subscribers called “What ‘Listen To Your Body’ Actually Means” from Teacher of the Month Bart van Melik.

Also out today is my episode with neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff on how to succeed, sanely. It comes with a guided meditation from Bart called “Let Go.”

I’m going live with Bart tomorrow, Jan. 20 at 4:00 p.m. ET, for a guided meditation and Q&A on Zoom, exclusively for paid subscribers. You can find details in the Upcoming Events section of the app and leave your questions for us in the comments. Don’t miss it.

Finally, if you need a “break-in-case-of-emergency” kit for 2026, former Teacher of the Month Jeff Warren has created a supremely useful collection of four mini-meditations—quick resets for moments of overwhelm, exhaustion, and other impossible situations.

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