Loving-kindness meditation (and malt liquor) + tools for medical anxiety + escaping the "toilet vortex" of shame

Thanks to everyone who came to the live session this week. If you missed it, you can always watch (or rewatch) at your own pace. Paid subscribers get the full session; the opening meditation is free for everyone.

We kicked off with a 10-minute loving-kindness meditation. I joked that this practice reminds me of the old Colt 45 malt liquor slogan: “It works every time.” A reminder that you don’t need to feel any particular way for this practice to work. You can train the mind toward warmth and friendliness, even if those feelings aren’t readily available.

Then we moved into a wide-ranging Q&A. Here’s a peek at what we covered:

• A three-step move for pulling yourself out of a shame spiral

• A few tools I use when medical anxiety spikes

• How to feel your feelings without getting swamped by them

• Why caregivers need to care for themselves too

• How to remember to be in the moment when you’re in a rush

Once again we got some great comments in the chat. Here’s a selection:

On shame spirals

• “Toilet vortex so aptly describes that downward shame cycle! I’m ‘stealing’ it!” —Theresa (Theresa, ‘toilet vortex’ comes from my friend Evelyn Tribole; if you’d like to see my artistic depiction of how it works you can watch this video)

• “Don’t give up on yourself. Start where you are with self-compassion.” — Berklee

• “I love the reminder that there are millions of people who are probably feeling the exact same way at this moment in time. Takes me off my personal island.” — Vivian

On the importance of self-care for caregivers

• “You do have to ‘put on your own oxygen mask first’ so that you can be of value to others — Mike

On practices that help

• “Love the straw breathing; I found the “in thru the nose, out thru the mouth” instructions to be impossible till I encountered a therapist who says “smell the flowers, blow out the candles”! — Nancy Lee Harris (my mom, for anyone wondering!)

• “Remembering impermanence…that everything ends helps me in anxious times.” — Barb

Thanks again to everyone who participated. And just a reminder that we’ve officially kicked off October with our new Teacher of the Month, the dharma teacher and my good friend Sebene Selassie. As part of our paid subscriber offering, you’ll get a companion meditation from Sebene with every Monday and Wednesday episode this month.

And tune in live this Tuesday, Oct. 7, at 4:00 p.m. ET to join Sebene and DJ Cashmere for another guided meditation and Q&A, exclusively for paid subscribers.

Finally, today is Friday which means Friday Fixations is live in the chat. Come weigh in on my selections, share your own obsessions and hot takes, or just shoot the shit with folks in our community.

Paid subscribers get the 10% Happier podcast ad-free, as well as:

• A cheatsheet for each episode — with key takeaways, time-coded highlights, and a transcript

• The ability to comment on posts and participate in subscriber chats

• Access to our weekly live video sessions, in which I and/or our meditation Teacher of the Month guide a meditation and take questions

• Tailor-made meditations every Monday and Wednesday, led by our meditation Teacher of the Month and designed to pair with the podcast episodes

Join the party.